{"product_id":"certified-useless-50-distinguished-diplomas-for-the-modern-man-hilarious-christmas-ideas-for-men-who-have-everything-adults-who-love-white-elephant-gifts","title":"CERTIFIED USELESS: 50 Distinguished Diplomas for the Modern Man. Hilarious Christmas Ideas for Men Who Have Everything \u0026 Adults Who Love White Elephant Gifts","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e \u003cdiv\u003e \u003cdiv\u003e \u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Perfect Gift for the Man Who Already Has Everything (Including Strong Opinions on Subjects He Knows Nothing About)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSome men collect watches. Others collect tools they'll never use. Most simply collect distinctions they've never been formally awarded, until now.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCERTIFIED USELESS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is a collection of 50 beautifully designed vintage diplomas honoring the modern man for his sustained excellence in selective hearing, strategic procrastination, confident wrong answers, and the timeless art of looking busy in meetings. Each certificate is illustrated in classic Victorian engraving style, with ornate borders, ornamental seals, and signatures from distinguished authorities such as Dr. Reginald Q. Whitford III, Director of Postponed Affairs.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhat's Inside:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003e50 unique full-page diplomas, each on its own tear-out page\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFive themed sections: Domestic Operations, Social Survival, Decision Making, Personal Maintenance, and Modern Life\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAuthentic vintage academic design with frame-worthy quality\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLandscape format (8.25 x 6 inches), perfect for displaying or gifting\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChristmas gifts for husbands, dads, brothers, sons, and friends\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhite elephant gift exchanges and office holiday parties\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStocking stuffers that actually get a laugh\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBirthday gifts, Father's Day, retirement parties, and \"just because\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe man who genuinely has everything (except recognition for the things he shouldn't be recognized for)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHow to Use This Book:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDisplay the entire collection on a coffee table for guests to discover. Tear out individual certificates to award to deserving recipients. Frame your favorites. Regift them at parties. Or simply read the entire book in one sitting and nod quietly in recognition at each page.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThese certificates carry no legal weight. They are not recognized by any university or government. What they offer instead is the only thing that matters: \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ethe small, dignified pleasure of being seen.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScroll up and add CERTIFIED USELESS to your cart today, and finally give him the recognition he never asked for and absolutely deserves.\u003c\/span\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Books Prime","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45915699118271,"sku":"72c736a1-c729-4ec0-aad8-8861f0568922","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0761\/7550\/7647\/files\/fd4b07bba1969c1a2d02679400b3d47a.jpg?v=1785082208","url":"https:\/\/books-prime.com\/products\/certified-useless-50-distinguished-diplomas-for-the-modern-man-hilarious-christmas-ideas-for-men-who-have-everything-adults-who-love-white-elephant-gifts","provider":"Books Prime","version":"1.0","type":"link"}