His Needs, Her Needs, Our Marriage: The Complete Intimacy Playbook for Couples — Physical, Emotional and Sexual Needs, Communication Scripts, and a Toolkit for Keeping Desire Alive
Most long-term couples are not struggling because they fell out of love. They are struggling because they never learned how to talk about what they actually need.
His Needs, Her Needs, Our Marriage is the research-backed, both-partners-equal intimacy guide for every couple who wants a deeper, more honest, more genuinely satisfying physical and emotional relationship — and who is willing to do the work to build it.
Drawing on the groundbreaking research of Emily Nagoski, Esther Perel, John Gottman, Sue Johnson, and Willard Harley, this book gives couples the language, the frameworks, and the practical tools to understand each other's needs, communicate what they want, and sustain the desire that long-term relationships so often lose without either partner choosing it.
Inside, you will find:
The Intimacy Needs Inventory — a five-step tool for identifying and sharing your primary intimacy needs, with a specific framework for the conversation most couples have never had
The Dual Control Model explained and applied — why the partner with lower desire is not broken and the partner with higher desire is not wrong, and what understanding the difference actually changes
The Intimacy Blockers Audit — seven specific forces that suppress desire in long-term relationships, with a diagnostic tool for identifying which ones are most active in yours
The Four Sex Conversations — the desire conversation, the appreciation conversation, the needs conversation, and the feedback conversation, with scripts for all four
The Body Knowledge Conversation — what each partner needs to understand about the other's physical experience of arousal that most couples never discuss
The Emotional Connection Audit — the six emotional needs that feed physical desire, scored and mapped, with the daily practices that rebuild what time and circumstance erode
The Physical Intimacy Toolkit — sensate focus, initiation dynamics, non-sexual touch, novelty, routine, and a 30-day Investment Plan
The Gradual Reconnection Framework — a four-stage, explicitly low-pressure approach to rebuilding physical intimacy after a drought
The Seasonal Intimacy Framework — what each season of a long marriage requires, from new parenthood through hormonal changes to later life
The Intimacy Agreement — a five-section living document covering needs, desire, physical intimacy, emotional connection, and the review practice that keeps all of it alive
A Bonus Toolkit with five standalone working documents for ongoing use
This is not the book that promises passion without effort. It is the book that gives you the tools to build the kind of intimacy that only long-term commitment makes possible — deeper, more mutual, and more genuinely satisfying than anything the early years could offer.
If you are ready to understand each other the way you always meant to — scroll up and get your copy today.