How To Lose Your Wife: A Matter of Death & Life

Paul Scott Reaney lost his wife, Alison, to cancer after 30 years as friends, lovers, parents.

It's a book aimed at men who've lost their wives and just don't want to feel quite as broken, alone and unique as they might feel. How To Lose Your Wife is split into two chapters, A Matter of Death & Life.

There are chapters too written by the son (11), daughter (14) and new partner - a different perspective from different voices.

Death
1. The Cancer
2. The Hospital
3. The Goodbye
4. The Aftermatch
5. The Funeral
6. The Ring
7. The Grief
8. The Children

Life
9. The Drinking
10 The Running
11. The Money
12. The Dating
13. The New One
14. The New You
15. The Friends
16. The In-Laws
17. The Bond
18. The Father
19. The Mother
20. The Lessons
21. The Girlfriend
22. The Son
23. The Daughter
24 Alison

It's a charcoal black comedy, a love story (or two), a damagingly honest account of what it’s like for a man to say goodbye to a woman loved uniquely. It's aimed largely but not solely at men who are similarly broken, lonely, and confused. Ultimately, How To Lose Your Wife is a story about what it's like to have your life crack and shatter and the beauty that can be discovered in building another.

Give it a try and let me know what you think below. Here's an excerpt to give you a feel for it...

Chapter 5. The Funeral.

Today is the day I bury my wife. The clock says 5.53 am. It’s Thursday, February 1st, 2018. February 1st was an anonymous date until today. Not anymore. The morning is cold and still; even nature is penning metaphors now. Everyone’s a fucking writer these days.

Chapter 8. The Children.

In terms of The Kids, I didn’t get all of it right. If you asked them, they might tell you I didn’t get much of it right. If I’d have had my time again, I really wouldn’t have moved forward as quickly as I did. For my sake and for my kids. I tried to be happy as quickly as possible. It may have come across to my children as not caring. It was so much more complicated than that. Part of me literally couldn’t care, there was just too much to confront.

Chapter 16. The In-Laws.

When you lose your wife, there are layers to the collective grieving process. Think of it as a series of concentric circles, or an onion. Well, it does make you cry a bit.

Chapter 20. The Lessons.

“When my wife died, time changed. I started to interpret it differently, to bend it and shape it to my will. It became more valuable, easier to endure. I was able to indulge in it or ignore it. To speed it up or slow it down depending on how I felt. I can dwell in the happy moments and stretch them, to experience them as fully as I need. I move past the sadness quickly. Losing Alison showed me the fleeting nature of time. Clearly, it’s not around forever.“