It's Not Just You: Vulnerably Sharing My Journey & Lessons Learned Through Adoption

I am the mom of 4 teenagers: 2 biological and 2 recently adopted from the foster care system. Our world was turned upside down with their arrival and I spent almost 2 years buried in grief, anger, and confusion about what my life had become because these kids were in it. It's in this space that I want to reach caregivers who wonder if they're the only one who does not like their life, or even their kids in that season. This is not only relevant to foster and adoptive parents, but any caregivers including kinship caregivers, blended families, and even biological parents who are struggling with the kids in their life. I have been able to emerge with hope because of Jesus in our story, but the happy-ish ending isn't the point: the shared experience, the "me too" of how hard the journey is, the putting into words the feelings we try to hide because of shame – being vulnerable about my struggle to meet others where I was is the point. It is about being for others now what I needed in that valley.

This book is a compilation of short sections, including verbatim segments from my personal journal throughout my rocky journey of fostering and ultimately adopting 2 teenage girls. It's intended to be a window into emotions that I struggled with from the time the girls came until life stabilized over about 2 years. It honestly names visceral emotions that emerged when my family, routines and paradigms were totally uprooted. It was not pretty, but nobody and no resources seemed to talk about it, so I was left to feel ashamed and alone. I began journaling when I had the emotional capacity to do so, and this book expands on those journal notes to include lessons learned along the way. The point is that I was in a terrible place emotionally in the first several months of these girls joining my family; my family was not in a great place and neither were these girls. It was hard, and I felt isolated and resources were lacking. The premise here is to be totally transparent about that, and to lay it out there for people like me, where I was, to feel seen and to receive hope.

The world desperately needs more vulnerability; not more curated photos of perfect families, but honesty about the hard parts of life. People connect with people who are genuine, and this book opens my wounds and struggles for cleaning and healing along with others in the same spot. I think it'll resonate with so many, and encourage people to trust in the work Jesus is doing to sanctify them to His image, especially through the hardest, messiest parts of life.