I Loved Them Both: Poems of Desire, Distance, and the Cost of Choosing

I Loved Them Both is not a love story.
It’s what happens when love refuses to stay simple.

This collection follows a woman inside a quiet, unfulfilled marriage—
where nothing is broken enough to leave,
but nothing whole enough to stay.

She tries.
She softens.
She disappears in small, unnoticeable ways.

Until someone sees her.

What begins as a moment…
turns into a feeling.
What feels harmless…
becomes undeniable.

And suddenly—
she is no longer choosing between right and wrong.

She is choosing between two truths.

Between the man who knows her history…
and the one who awakens her present.
Between comfort and connection.
Between loyalty and longing.

Told through 37 deeply intimate poems,
this book explores:

• emotional neglect that doesn’t look like abuse
• the hunger to be seen, heard, and felt
• the intoxicating pull of being chosen
• the guilt of wanting more than one truth at once
• and the quiet devastation of realizing
  that every choice comes with a loss

I Loved Them Both doesn’t offer easy answers.
It doesn’t tell you who was right… or wrong.

Instead, it sits in the middle—
in the space where love becomes complicated,
where identity shifts,
and where a woman must face the hardest truth of all:

Sometimes, there is no choice
that doesn’t cost you a piece of yourself.