Mood Swings & Middle Fingers: Mental Illness, Sexuality, and Rebirth from Pain

Mood Swings & Middle Fingers: Mental Illness, Sexuality, & Rebirth From Pain is a brutally honest memoir by Stephen Anselmo — a story of survival, rage, resilience, and radical self-acceptance. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder at just six years old, Stephen was told he was broken before he even understood what that meant. Navigating childhood on heavy meds, enduring emotional abuse from a volatile father, facing relentless bullying, and surviving a traumatic stay at a behavior modification camp in Utah, he grew up feeling like a mistake; too much, too different, and never enough.

But this isn’t a tragedy. It’s a rebellion.

This isn’t just pain on display, it’s pain with a purpose. With raw emotion and unapologetic truth, he reflects on the chaos of his mental illness, the confusion and beauty of discovering his sexuality, and the long, messy path to self-worth. Through failed relationships, self-sabotage, breakdowns, and breakthroughs, he emerges scarred but unshaken and louder than ever.

If you’ve ever felt invisible, unlovable, or like you didn’t belong anywhere then this book is your reminder: you’re still here and that means something.