Part of the 99: A journey through pain, shame and healing back to the truth of who I’ve always been

A Journey Through Pain, Shame, and Healing Back to the Truth of Who I’ve Always Been

What happens when the pain you survived becomes the identity you live from?

For years, survival became second nature. Strength looked like silence. Faith looked like endurance. And pain became something to carry quietly while showing up for everyone else.

Part of the 99 is a deeply personal and faith-rooted journey through heartbreak, trauma, betrayal, survival, motherhood, identity loss, and the long road back to healing.

This is not just a story about pain.
It is a story about what happens when survival mode becomes your personality… when shame distorts your self-worth… and when you begin to question God, yourself, and everything you thought faith was supposed to guarantee.

Through raw storytelling, reflection, and truth, Estee takes readers into the hidden places many women know too well:

• Staying strong while silently breaking
• Carrying wounds no one can see
• Wrestling with disappointment, abandonment, and unanswered prayers
• Losing your voice while trying to keep the peace
• Mistaking survival for identity
• Learning how healing begins when truth finally confronts the lies

But this book is also about restoration.

About the God who still sees the one who feels forgotten.

About returning to the version of yourself buried beneath pain, shame, fear, and survival.

If you have ever wondered:
“How did I become this version of me?”
“Why did God allow this?”
“Can I ever truly heal?”

Then this book was written with you in mind.

Because maybe your story isn’t over.
Maybe the woman you thought was lost is still waiting to be found.

Open the first page… and begin the journey back to her.