The Seasons of Staying: Why You Lose Yourself in Confusing Relationships: Recognizing Coercive Control and Emotional Abuse

It doesn’t happen all at once. You thought it was love—because it was designed that way. You didn’t miss the signs; they were buried. He needed you confused. Because a confused woman doesn’t leave.

The Seasons of Staying, told through poetry and short prose, unfolds in four parts: The Falling, The Staying, The Knowing, and The Rising. It traces the patterns of emotional abuse inside a coercive control relationship—from love bombing to gaslighting, isolation, and trauma bonding—through the loss of self and the slow return of it.

This is the subtle shift you didn’t see coming. The way your world quietly grew smaller, until one day you looked up and didn’t recognize yourself anymore. It was built to feel like the one thing you’d always wanted. And the harm was quiet enough to make you question yourself instead of what was happening to you.

This book is for the woman who felt something was wrong but didn’t understand it. For the woman who stayed—because leaving is never as simple as it looks from the outside. For the one still trying to make sense of it all.

For the woman still in it.

For the woman just out.

For the woman still carrying it.

About the Author

Michelle Lesley is a registered nurse with over 25 years of experience. Her clinical background gave her an understanding of mental health and human behavior. What she learned afterward is that knowledge alone doesn't protect you from experiencing psychological abuse. She has lived at the intersection of mental health, domestic violence, and coercive control firsthand. The Seasons of Staying is her debut book.